#DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY I AM MY GOD❕❕❕❕

[clovenoko]

a wonderful artist @/julymarte drew Alev for me (for winning the raffle!) 💕🌟 TYSM !!

I'M SO HAPPYYY HE'S AWESOME 😭💖

julymarte.bsky.social

[onlyjaeyun]

OH CHAPTER 11 I AM FUCKING LOSING MY SHIT SJHDJDH thank god it was hoon. !?? after your recent responses i kind of got scared it wasn’t him 😭😭 started rereading to see if someone would secretly have a personality like that LMAO (my dots connected to jay)

MAYBE i like sunghoon a little more now… just maybe though. He still has to make it up to our gf ch!y/n for leaving her with no aftercare !!! he has so much suffering and making up to do after that 🗣️‼️

ANYWAY, that fist fucking surprise you gave us…. thinking of how he quite literally beat y/n’s ex up and now he’s going to use the same hands to get off with only Y/N in mind, oh i am MELTING into my bed.

ive never been so captivated to someone’s writing the way i have been with yours. ngl, this is so much better than even half of the physical books ive read with enemies to lovers??? I love how they’re ACTUALLY enemies, hello??? the hatred and sexual tension is EVERYTHING. i am obsessed😭 can’t wait for them to actually date and still be bickering omfgvv that TikTok thing u said about hoon replying to comments was the only thing that kept me sane during my day on campus… 💔 (THANK U FOR THAT)

anyway, zadie i hope you know that you’re one of the only few writers i actually come back to on this app. your blog has to be my favourite, actually. but please also make sure to take breaks when you can :( don’t want you to feel obligated to post just because of us. as much as we do love our stories, without you at your full energy— there would be no stories to begin with !! so please make sure to take care of yourself always. WE LOVE YOU ZADIE ❕

thank you for doing what you do 🤍🥹

BLESS YOUR SWEET HEART MY ANGEL 🥺🥺🥺💞🫧

firstly, thank you so so so so much for your kind words like i dont think you guys understand just how much they mean to me 🥺 i truly love and appreciate you so much and hope you know i will cherish these forever. the fact dou went and sat down and took time to send me this is so 🥺 i love and appreciate you so, so much.

i was honestly shocked how some of you guys believed me when i denied that it was hoonie like you guys had me giggling all 🤭🤭🤭 and don't worry baby, i will make sure that fucker does what's needed at full force bc our girl deserves the best and nothing but. 🤞🏼🤥

stop i just reread this ask for the third time snd am tearing up AGAIN because every time indoubt my writing one of you guys send me such amazing words as if you could feel my doubts and i won't ever be able to express my gratitude 🥺 i love you so much i know im being repetitive but my heart is so full of love and gratitude and happiness and affection i wish i gould hug you rn,🥺🤍

[nan0ka]

GIVE ME MORE OF ANTHOPHILE !!! Pleaseeeeeee

𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄⁰⁹

summary. half of the semester is ending, and guess what, you need to study hard. that was until he visited you.

content. highschool au, fluff, slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, umemiya may seem ooc, little angst.

wordcount. ~2.41k.

author's note. should I open up a taglist ❕❔

other requests.

"Next chap when😭" ily <3

"OMG YOUR UME SERIES 😭😭 it’s so good i’m crying love tears" ily <3

❨📁❩ ← previous. ❨🗂️❩ → masterlist. ❨📁❩ → next.

　“—THE half of the semester is coming to an end. I hope you have started studying hard.”

You drilled holes against the wall with your dazed eyes as you tried to focus for the upcoming exams while also having a mental breakdown, because you didn't understand one word in that damned book. Oh god. Why is school so hard? But even though you know you could do well on every exam if you would try, something keeps your mind occupied. Be it your cell phone or the sound of your pounding heartbeat.

And lastly— At the end, you always stared at the little chibi doodle of someone certain. How pathetic you are. How can a male being make you go all crazy and confused about your own thoughts. You can't even concentrate for your exams because of him as you stared impatiently at your phone, waiting for someone to call. Waiting for the sound of your bell ringing through the apartment.

For hours. Yeah right. You're sitting here since three hours. And you only wrote down one sentence out of hundreds. If this continues, you will fail all your exams. You just know. But today, he didn't even text you once. Nor did he see you today. Well—it's not like he needs to see or text you every minute to survive the day. But he wanted to text you at least once a day, know how you're doing without him.

Here you are. Sitting on your chair infront of a messy table. Patiently, or not so patiently, waiting for him to text. Or call you. Or ring on your doorbell. No matter how long you've waited, the expectations and hope were turned down. Like a puppy waiting for a praise that never came. "I'm such a moron. Why am I even waiting?" you breathed out frustrated, grabbing your phone and making it silent.

With that, you threw it onto your bed, leaning back against the chair. "I should start studying. Yeah..." you sighed, staring at the ceiling for a while letting out a frustrated and loud groan. "Good idea. Don't fail classes... You know what? I should go to an art university." you stretched yourself one more time, before returning to your books and notebooks. It's going to be a long night.

Not knowing that someone tried to call you.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　Tiredly, your eyes drifted from your notes to the window, just to be greeted by the nightsky. Your table lamp was the only source of light in your room right now as you leaned against your palm. The moon accompanied by the stars shone brighter than ever today. A smile plastered on your lips as you quietly wished to be as alluring as the moon, not recognizing the beauty you owned.

"Gonna get something to drink." you muttered, finally standing up after one or two hours of learning.

You stretched your arms and legs before grabbing a jacket, some money and your keys, leaving your apartment. "How happy I am that the 7/11 is around the corner." you breathed out. The fresh breeze of wind is colder than the morning one. After all, it will soon be summer. Night walks are also nice and you definitely enjoy midnight more than day. Until you get kidnapped.

"Welcome, hello!"

"Finally arrived." you mumbled and got greeted by the entrance as soon as you stepped a foot into 7/11.

Almost immediately, you made your way to the snack aisle and then to the cold drinks. You honestly don't want to stay here any more second, because you already missed your bed. "Didn't even go out with my phone." you blinked, realizing that you forgot your beloved mobile phone as you placed your favorite snack and drink on the cash register. "Another reason to not waste any time..."

You rarely forget your phone when you go out. Oh man. Today isn't your day.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

With quick steps the white-haired man approached your door, his one hand was gripping his phone as if it wouldn't break at any moment if he added the smallest amount of force, while his other hand pressed the bell repeatedly. Now, wasn't he worried? He called you serveral times, but you didn't even pick up as he watched how your phone ring, ring and ring. And ring. And ring. Until—

× The number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.

How many missed calls are there? You always pick up after the second or third ring, but now that it's midnight and you're not answering. He was worried. Maybe you're asleep, the chances are high, but you rolled down a not so small hill days ago, because you were taking a picture of a bunny. And sometimes, he means often, you stayed up till one am. So he would rather take the risk of waking you up than letting you get hurt.

Or kidnapped. Everything can happen. Really. The world is cruel nowadays. No, the people are fucked up. And in Japan, there are many creeps lurking around. Maybe you're ignoring him after he just kissed you. And confessed his love for you. But yesterday you were the same, acting like nothing happend! Umemiya breathed out, thinking of places you would probably be.

No. You're probably just asleep and turned your phone silent. But again, he was worried. He sighed exasperated, his hand ran through his loose hair before turning his back to the door and sitting down, back against the thick metal door. Guess he will sleep here tonight. He closed his eyes for a short moment. Well-he tried. But his eyes opened again, too worried about you missing. He can't sleep if he isn't sure about your safety.

"Hajime?" his first name slipped out of someone's mouth.

No one calls him like that. No one calls him like that with that same voice. Never in his life did his turned snap into that direction that fast after hearing your voice. There you stood, three or four meters away, with a snack and opened, refreshing drink in your hands. You stood there in your cute little pyjama and your jacket draped over your shoulders. The only source or warmth right now.

Until he quickly stood up, running towards you, stumbling a bit, since he stood up immediately after seeing you, just to wrap his arms around you. "[nameeeee]!" he drags out your name in a whiny voice. You could cringe if anyone else would do the same as a growing adult, but it's Umemiya you're talking about. And Umemiya could be whiny and sullen like a child if he feels like it.

It's cute you guess.

"W-What are you doing here?" you stuttered, quietly cringing at the own realization.

You tried to slip out of the hug, now feeling awkward at the touches. Not with someone who confessed his love for you. And not when you didn't even mentioned it once, acting like nothing happend. No way you can do that. And luckily, he didn't mind to let you go. He did mind. But guess he wants you to quickly feel comfortable again. "Since when have you been waiting?" you asked, still confused.

"Just arrived, because you didn't pick up your phone as I called you serveral times. Gosh I was so worried, never do this again!" he ranted about his feelings while your phone was on silent the whole time. "You always pick up after the second or third ring..."

"I had no choice, but to silent my phone. The half semester exams are coming up and I need to study. And my phone doesn't help me at all but to distract me. I'm not going to fail class." you explained.

"Can I stay the night?"

"Yeah sure— No."

"Awh! But you just said yes!"

"No, Hajime. You also distract me. You're a puppy who needs attention 24/7 and I can't have that."

"I'll stay quiet, promise!"

"Stop making promises you can't keep." you huffed, pressing your snack and drink into his hands for him to hold. "Need my keys..."

His face lit up and if he had a tail, it would be wagging side to side in a rather fast pace. "I'll stay silent, promise!" he knows he won't keep it. He absolutely cannot keep those types of promises. While you were opening the door with you keys, his eyes wandered from you and then to your drink. Either he wants to give it a taste or he wants to place his lips at the same spot you did.

Well it doesn't matter at all as soon as he drank out of your drink. "Hey— Hajime!" you yelled furiously. The liquid entered his mouth as it slides down to his throat, making him gulp before taking the drink away again. You stared at him with furrowed eyebrows as he began to grin at the sweet/sour/bitter taste. "You're impossible. Keep it." you muttered, not very pleased as you entered your cold apartment, taking the jacket off.

"[name], I didn't mean it like that! I wae just curious, you can take it back!" he followed you into your apartment, closing the door behind him.

"Keep it." you demanded and went into your bedroom, slamming the door close for your privacy.

The last thing you heard was a whine at the other side of the door as you sat down on your bed. "Short break." you muttered and grabbed your phone and turned off the silent mode. Suddenly your phone got one notification. One ping. Actually, two notification. And then three. Four, five, six, seven— you don't want to start count. Math hurts your head. You cannot see number anymore.

× Hajime (18) missed calls.

You blinked rapidly. A shaky breath escaped your lips until it turned to a chuckle. "Oh god." you fell back and met the soft mattress under your back. The slight smile on your lips betrayed your act before you turned to the side again, your hands were holding on to that precious phone. You looked like some lovesick girl who just entered her teenage phase.

"I feel cringe now." you quickly sat up from your bed as you huffed out. "Stop this, [name]."

Great, now you're even talking to yourself. You can't help yourself anymore, you need sleep. School is bad for you. "School is bad for my health. I should drop out." with that, you stood up, walking towards the door and opening it. Your gaze immediately fell on the white-haired guy who sat next to the door, his eyes wandered up to meet your gaze and then, the calm expression was replaced by a gentle smile.

"Stand up, sitting on the floor is not good." your hands were wrapped around his upper arm, trying with all your might to pull him up. "Since when are you so quiet?"

Right. He was being strange quiet. You thought that the moment you would open the door again was the moment he would jump on you, but here he was, standing up from his place with a grin. "I told you I would stay quiet." he referred to the promise he made minutes ago. "Can I keep you company now? Please, [name]." the tone in his voice was soft and quiet to your liking.

How can you say no when he is being so calm?

"Mhm... Just don't sit on the floor anymore." you muttered, feeling a bit shy now as you averted your eyes to the ground. "If you want to sit next to me, then get a chair from the living room."

You made your way to your desk again and sat down on the chair again, taking a breath in, just to release it seconds later. "It's getting dark. And I'm getting tired." you mumbled. You heard how umemiya easily dragged a chair from the living room and placed it beside you to sit down. "You can ramble, I'm only writing a summary. If I need silence, i'll give you a sign."

"It's fine. I'll stay quiet, i'm close to falling asleep."

Surprised, you looked at him before nodding slowly but surely. "Do what you want." you said and began write down the important information, yawning. How long have you been studying? You don't know. You yawned again while Umemiya was watching you. Your palm covered your mouth as your full focus laid on that shee of paper. Why do you even need that? It's useless.

Should he appreciate that you both are close friends? He doesn't even consider your friendship as friendship. He would never. The thought that makes him the most jealous, is the sight of you with another man. He tries his best to hide the ugly jealousy. But sometimes those men make it so hard for him. He won't let them touch you, because they simply don't deserve to.

And if you one day decide to date another man, who is not him, he would die from the inside. What if your bond isn't the same anymore? What if you start ignoring him? What if you start pushing him away? No, no. He needs to savour every second with you from now on. The future is unpredictable. But never in a hundred years will he be willing to lose you to another man.

"Let me stay by your side a little longer." he muttered.

"What?" you questioned, your attention got away from your notes. "Did you saw something?"

"Let me stay by your side a little— No, nevermind." he shook his head with a smile.

"Huh?" now you're being confused.

"Let me stay by your side forever."

His eyes went outside the window, which was next to your chair. It's full moon today. Should he be jealous? You look lovely, accompanied by the moonlight. [h/c] hair that shines everyday. Your lashes match your pretty [e/c] eyes. And if he's lucky enough to catch a glimpse of your smile, he could die happily. You rarely smile. But if you do, it's the most gorgeous one. He's jealous. That the moon looks so good next to you.

"Pfft—" you chuckled. "You're so silly. Why wouldn't I let you?"

"Dunno..." he answered. "[name]."

"Hmm?"

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

A smile plastered on your lips.

He got closer.

Your arms on top of his shoulders.

His arms around your waist.

A secret kiss.

Lingering touches.

"I can die happy."

Now he would gladly die.

- NAN0KA [ august 13th, 2024 ]

redamancy

(n.) a love returned in full.